Don't Say It
by trishaj48
Summary: All her life people have used a certain word, but had no meaning to it. What is that word? This is the first time I have tried a story in the first person, so please be kind. Thanks to Waner52 and Twistedpuppy for their work as my Beta readers.


This is a "The first time they meet" story. It is also the first time I have tried a story in the first person. My thanks to Wander52 and Twistedpuppy who both Betaed this for me.

Do you know how many times people use the word LOVE and don't mean it?

I mean people say they LOVE their dogs, cats or other pets. They LOVE their cars, sports teams and even favorite food. They LOVE the mountains or the ocean. I think you get my drift.

Or say I LOVE YOU and really don't?

People use that phrase all the time and they really don't mean it. I think I'd rather they not say anything then to tell me they love me when they could care less. My Dad used that phrase ALL the time, to me and my mom. But then he would turn right around and beat us – can someone who really loves you treat you the way my dad did? One night my mom just could not take it any longer and she took his life. After that night, I bounced around from foster home to foster home. Each new family would say, WELCOME, WE LOVE YOU but I knew they never meant it. A lot of them LOVED the money Uncle Sam gave them for taking care of me. Aw, then there was Roger, what can I say about him? Captain of the football team, deep brown eyes, jet black hair, OH BOY!!! Well, he LOVED me too; at least that's what he said. '_Come on Sara, I love you. Show me you love me as much as I love you.' '_I can't', I would tell him. '_If you really love me, you will have sex with me.'_ Well I really loved him, so I did. Guess what? The next day he forgot my name. At least I was luckier then Mary Ann; she got pregnant.

I guess I should introduce myself, my name is Sara. I am a CSI in San Francisco. My boss, Mr. Harry Green, called me into his office yesterday and said that if I want my promotion to grade 3, I had to attend a series of forensic lectures – whoopty-doo. Like that is what I really want to do, spend two hours a day five days a week for the next six weeks listening to some old fart talking about bugs and how they are our friends. YUCK.

As I enter the room I am just about as enthusiastic as I can be, thinking I would rather have a boil on my ass then be here. I walk in, scanning the room, looking for an empty seat. Oh crap, I didn't know that Jerry, my old boyfriend was taking this class too. He LOVED me for a whole week; that was at least until Barbie came along. Yeah, Barbie and her perfect waist and perky boobs, I bet that blonde hair of hers come out of a bottle. Who really cares? I mean the sex was good, and Jerry is cute, but did he really have to say he loved me when we both knew it wasn't true?

The door that leads to the professor's office opens and I see a trim figure with curly brown hair. Well I say to myself, at least he is not as old as Professor Dickerson, as the instructor walks in. And he is kinda cute. "Good morning, my name is Gil Grissom." I hear him say. His voice is so ….. how do I describe it? Sexy. And those eyes, they are so blue. Images of Andrew Lawson float back into my head. Andrew was my 12th grade science teacher. I would have followed him to the ends of the earth; man I was head over heels for him. I had gotten kicked off the bus and Mr. Lawson offered me a ride home. Then he starts telling be how smart and how special I am and how he never felt this way about a student and (here it comes again) oh yeah, he loved me. That was the first and last time I ever had sex in the back seat of a car.

Well that is not going to happen again, I vowed that no man was going to play with my heart again, that includes YOU, Gilbert Grissom.

We are three weeks into the seminar and I simply can't get him out of my mind. I just melt every time he calls my name, and yesterday our hands accidentally touched when he picked up a book I'd dropped. This man intoxicates me more than any drink can and being around him takes me higher than any drug ever could. I've made love with him every night now for three weeks...well, in my dreams anyway.

These six weeks have flown by faster than I thought it would. I can't believe that I will never see him again, my heart is breaking so – can I be in love with him? Is this really what it feels like, I wonder?

I can't believe my luck, as class was letting out Gil said to me, " Miss Sidle, do you have a minute?" I nod my head and hold my place while thinking to myself, _a minute he says, he can have all the time he wants_. "I'd be honored if I could take you to dinner tonight." "That would be great," I tell him, trying to keep the butterflies quiet in my stomach. Picking up a piece of paper, I give him my address, "How about 6?" he asks and again I nod my head.

Dinner was delicious, we went for a walk afterward and Gil held my hand – I could die a happy woman tonight. Back at my apartment, Gil walked me to the door. We are a few feet from my door when I decide I'm going to get brave and kiss him good night. I know he's surprised by my move, he immediately takes over. Have you ever heard someone say that sparks flew when they kissed the right person; well I am here to tell you, THEY DO! I couldn't help myself, I kissed him again. "One more kiss like that and I won't want to leave," Gil whispers in my ear. Smiling I tell him, "Then don't."

I slowly deepen the kiss and feel the excitement as Gil responds. His tongue softly begs for entrance and slowly I open my mouth more, letting it in. "We should go inside," Gil whispers, as my nosy neighbor opens her door a crack and peeks out at us. Giggling, I take Gil's hand, lock my door and lead him straight to my bedroom.

My lips find Gil's again as I savor the taste of his tongue. We undress, never breaking away from the sweetness of our kiss. Gil lifts me and sits me on the bed. "My God, you are so beautiful," he tells me.

My skin burns at his touch, yearning for more. His lips have found my neck, his tongue slowly moving to my breasts. I can't hold back a moan, it escapes my throat from the sensations his tongue is giving me. I'm not sure what has come over me, my nails are gently scratching the back of his neck as he gently guides me into a lying position. Gil's lips find mine again, as we moan into each other's mouth.

Gasping and panting, I can feel his hand cover my soft mound. His finger slips between my swollen lips and dips into the wet folds, easily sliding two fingers in my opening. Gil is rubbing my clit with his thumb as he pumps his fingers faster and faster. Taking my pert nipple into his mouth, Gil licks it as his hand continues to pump a steady rhythm. I try to stop the hard orgasm that is about to overtake me, my hips buck along with the rhythm of his hand. In one swift movement Gil has settled his head between my thighs. I'm moaning with pleasure now as he takes my little nub between his lips and begins sucking and licking. Gil inserts his fingers back in my opening and begins pumping again. I know he can feel my walls clamping down on his fingers, as I'm screaming his name over and over. I fly over that edge where Gil has held me for too long. Gil eases himself above me, slowly entering me, as our lips find each other once more.

Gil starts thrusting slowly, steadily and I can only imagine how my warm channel must feel to him as it surrounds his manhood. I can't take this any longer, "faster, harder" I beg him. I can tell that Gil is ready, his movements are faster; he is pounding himself harder in me . Our bodies are shining with sweat, and our breathing getting harder. we scream each others' name in passion. My second climax is near. I close my eyes and come hard again. I know Gil can feel my wet, hot walls gripping his manhood. I know he can't hold out much longer . I only feel him thrust once more before his release overtakes him. I feel him throbbing, feel his warm cum coating my walls. He continues thrusting slowly as we enjoy the waves of aftershocks, kissing and caressing each other.

Gil is lying on his back with his left arm around me, gently rubbing my bare shoulder. My head is on his chest, I must look a sight, hair damp from sweat. I take his right hand with my left, never have I felt so satisfied. Now if only Gil doesn't mess this evening up by saying those three little words that men seem to think a woman needs to hear. Our breathing has finally slowed, I can't feel my pulse bounding in my head any longer, so I think all has returned to normal. Gil props himself up on one elbow and smiles down at me. It's coming, I can feel it – no, Gil – please don't ruin things. "You are fantastic. Sara I...." That was as far as I'm going to let him go, I don't want to hear any more, so I put my finger on his lips. Looking into those beautiful blue eyes of his I tell him, "Don't say it – please, don't say it unless you mean it." Tenderly Gil caresses my cheek, "Sara, I love you." Gazing into his deep blue eyes I knew he REALLY meant it.


End file.
